Home Again

Posted on Fri Feb 23rd, 2024 @ 3:45am by Lieutenant Commander Lyra Cassiel & Lieutenant Commander Andrei Petrov

Mission: S1 Episode 7: Prime Factors
Location: XO's Quarters
Timeline: Date 2371-09-13 at 1200
3916 words - 7.8 OF Standard Post Measure

The past sixteen hours had dragged by for Lyra; she would have liked to say she couldn’t have imagined how they were for Andrei, but the truth was that she could. She’d relived those moments during her confinement by the Numiri. It was something that had come as a surprise to her then, but the knowledge that it was still in the forefront of her mind troubled her. Perhaps it did just speak of her love for Andrei being something genuine, in the end her thoughts lingered on him and the pain she knew he was experiencing. Even though she hadn’t seen him physically, the fact she knew was apparently enough. Thankfully for the Sikarians, she hadn’t turned her ire on the innocent, debauched aliens.

At least not yet.

She’d taken care of the reports immediately and then been left with nothing to do, so she had taken to the holodeck to put her violent urges into something productive. A shower, an unsuccessful attempt at rest, a visit to the planet to collect their things and con the hotel into refunding the days they obviously wouldn’t be able to use anymore, another attempt at rest, reading, music, meditation; then finally, time.

She swept like a violent storm into the room where Andrei was being held. Her head snapped toward the petty officer at the controls.

“Out.” The demand was cold and cutting as ice. He practically flew out of the room and she was at the controls, deactivating the booth and opening the door. Just as quickly, she moved to him, standing close enough that she could catch him if he fell and standing in a way she was braced to do so, but she didn’t immediately reach out to him. As physically and mentally strong as he was, he wasn’t a god (though he would vehemently disagree) and the physical strain on his muscles and nerves both would certainly have an effect on his ability to move.

When Lyra had entered, the room was completely silent save for the serving crimson currents which crashed over Andrei’s body. His eyes had been closed, and while a face of horror and strain told her exactly how he felt, he was as silent as the grave. When it stopped, he stood there for an instant, a million miles from the moment and on the edge of consciousness. When the door opened, however, he collapsed forward, his considerable bulk tumbling out of the booth without the conscious effort of active limbs.

Given that she had prepared for the possibility, Lyra was able to catch him without falling herself. She took a heavy step back and her muscles did briefly protest, but she sustained him in the position in which he had fallen into her. He smelled, he was sweaty, she could feel his muscles still jumping as she held him.

When she was certain he wouldn’t simply fall, she tapped her commbadge twice and they reappeared in his quarters after a site to site transport. Still, she held him.

“Come back down.” She whispered softly in his ear. “No more floating.”

Andrei leaned on her, but didn’t respond right away, except to groan gently and to flutter his eyelids slowly. He leaned more, and then caught himself, still showing no signs of being truly mentally present.

Unmoving, she continued to stand and simply hold him. She didn’t rub his back or anywhere else; her hands were planted firmly on his body not only to support him, but to also offer solid points of contact that didn’t change for him and gave him something to ground himself on.

“Breathe.”

Andrei coughed and sputtered, his eyes rolling as his breath caught in his throat. After a few more coughs, his breathing started evening out and slowed down. It seemed, slowly, that his eyes began to see again and he started to understand where he was.

“Lyra?” He asked, his voice a whisper. He cleared his throat, turning his gaze toward her lazily.

“Right here, my darling.” She assured him. “Can you walk with me?” As she asked, she took a single step back to see if he would follow.

He took the step, weakly, his leg being not worthy of his trust. But he followed, and took another step at her bidding.

Lyra took her time moving with him into the bathroom and once they were there, she grabbed hold of his shirt and slowly worked it off of him while still supporting him. Then with ease, she pushed down his shorts and the diaper he had been wearing. The smell inside of it was obviously quite potent, but she didn’t care. Opening the door to the shower, she shifted him around and coaxed him to step back into it and she followed, activating the sonic sequence and holding him out and away from her body slightly so the pulses could clean him properly.

“I have a bath drawn. It is the best thing for you right now.”

“Mm..” he said, keeping his silence. His mind was cloudy and dream-like. He knew where he was, but he couldn’t think of a thing to say. As the sonic waves cleaned his body, his natural smells evaporated from him and he breathed quite normally now. His muscle spasms were becoming rare.

The compressed cycle took no more than forty-five seconds and then Lyra was leading him out of the shower again though this time he was slightly more under his own power as he returned more and more to himself. They moved over to the bathtub full of warm water and she kissed his bare shoulder. “Into the bath now, darling.”

“Okay.” He said, groggy, but awake. He lowered himself into the bath and immediately felt the stinging of the hot water against his flesh. The pain was soothing, and a completely different class to what he had just experienced.

Lyra had stood by as a helping hand and once Andrei was settled, she took a moment to remove the clothes from the bathroom so the smell didn’t linger. She returned with a glass and small pitcher of water which she sat down on one of the triangular ends of the tub meant for such things and within Andrei’s reach.

“Some water, darling. I’ll leave you to soak, but if you need anything just call.” She leaned in and lightly kissed the side of his head.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, his face frowning as he closed his eyes and the warmth of the bath soothed his aching body. He realized he ached all over, and the pain in his muscles was considerable. Considering he was in the booth for so long, his body was still adjusting to normal conditions again, finding every moment predictable and every sensation natural to his movements. The fog of his mind slowly cleared as well.

He sat in the tub for nearly fifteen minutes, drinking water, and massaging his limbs as best he could. When the pulsing of his muscles had completely gone away, he drained the water and stood, walking with pain and a towel around his waist. He emerged into the bedroom in just a towel, looking much better, though still in pain.

Instead of being out in the living area, Andrei found Lyra in what was truthfully at this point their bed. Part of her had wanted to stay and tend to him, but she knew that he didn’t like her to see him in such a way if it could be helped. This time - as much as she hadn’t wanted to - she didn’t need to be by his side, but she had compromised and been near enough to hear if something were to happen. Sometimes the effects of the agonizer could linger; his body could have seized up and he could have not been able to get out of the tub. She was lying on her side with her back to the bathroom door, but when she heard him coming out she turned over and put the PADD she had been reading down.

“Hello, darling.” She greeted with a gentleness reserved for him alone. Reaching next to the PADD, she picked up a folded pair of boxers and held them out toward him.

“The less you have on to rub against your skin, the better. I’d suggest just these for a while if you want to wear anything at all.”

“Unless I’m going to stand, it’s inevitable.” He said with a strong voice. He was putting on an act, of course, but then again, of course he was. He grabbed the boxers from her and held back a grunt as he slowly put them on. Pulling them up, he felt the dull discomfort they caused on his skin. “Thank you for helping me home and running the bath.”

He laid down next to her slowly, breathing erratically but otherwise keeping his silence. Once he was down, his muscles relaxed and he sighed.

“How much damage do you think I’ve done with the old man?”

Lyra shifted closer to him, but didn’t reach out to touch him. He could initiate or ask for the contact when he was ready for it. “Not nothing, but he’s easily moved by his family.”

It was the diplomatic way of saying he was weak and easily manipulated.

“I’m sure with an appropriate amount of contrition and good behavior, it will be as if it never happened at all.”

“Maybe.” Andrei said, sounding as if he had doubts about it, “he isn’t stupid. I could have played it off without him seeing that damned video, but now that he has, he won’t forget it.”

He remained by himself, his skin still pulsating, but more dull than before.

“He was giving me that concerned father look. He’s going to try and save me, I know it. I hate it when they try and save me; far too much energy is required.”

“Of course he’s going to try to save you. He failed you and Mika as a father and your mother as a husband and he is well aware of that. He wants to try and fix that.” Lyra shifted to sit up a bit more.

“But he is your father. He will want to believe in you and that he can change you. I guarantee you that he still sees you as a boy, not a man. All parents have trouble seeing their children as anything but.”

Andrei considered her words. His father had failed them, of course, but he hadn’t thought about that failure since he changed his behavior toward Ivan. Becoming his XO had given him a chance to meet Ivan man to man, and he locked the criticism away for when it was useful. It was useful now.

Almost as if on cue, there was a chime at the door.

“That could be Mika. She visited me several times and even managed to buy me a break based on some medical excuse.” He said in a quiet voice.

“Do you want to see whoever it is now or have me ask them to come back later?” Lyra asked. “It might not be Mika, it could be your mother. Or father.”

“Get them to go away.” He said with a frown. “I don’t want to be mothered right now…and if I see my father, I might just vaporize him.”

“And Mika?” Lyra asked as she got out of the bed and started to move toward the main living area.

“If it’s her, let her in.” He said after a small moment of thought.

Lyra moved to the door then and positioned herself in the way of whoever it was on the other side. She reached over to the panel and opened it, hoping that it was Mika if it was going to be any of them.

There stood Captain Petrov, his arms folded under his chest and a guarded expression on his face. When he saw her there, he took a step toward the door.

“Commander Cassiel,” he said in a low voice, “I’m here to see my son.”

Of course, the worst of the three options.

Lyra didn’t even pretend to smile at him this time, it would have been disingenuous and Ivan would have known it to be so immediately. She was not, however, immediately hostile toward him. She remained in the doorway. “Andrei doesn’t want to be disturbed, he is resting at the moment and would appreciate it if you came back later.”

Her expression softened just slightly. “I’m taking care of him, I promise.”

Ivan looked, at first, as if he were going to insist. But something about the tone of her voice let him know it wasn’t the time. There was a time for one to have one's own way, and a time to give way to another. He knew the difference, and dreamed of teaching that same lesson to his son.

“Very well.” He said, his voice gravelly. “Only tell me, how is he doing? You’ve put men through the agonizer before. How did he fare?”

When Ivan looked like he might insist, Lyra’s expression had hardened, but it softened again the instant the intent went away. “He’s very tired. I’m sure you’re not unfamiliar with the lingering effects of the agonizer. Warm baths and time are about the only things that help unless drugs are involved. He’s strong, though. It won’t take him long at all to be right again.”

“I’ve experienced it once or twice in my day.” Ivan said with a pained smile. “I assume you are very aware what got him into this mess, Lyra. I saw the video. His behavior was..appalling.”

He looked at her then, the silence between them pressing in. Then he spoke again. He asked a dark question, full of emotion, though he kept himself well under control.

“Is that who my son is?”

Lyra stepped out of the doorway and into the corridor with Ivan, and the door slid shut behind her. “You’ve served loyally in the Imperial Fleet for many years and gotten to know many officers in your time from all sorts of family backgrounds. I have served less, of course, but I’ve found that men who grew up without a consistent father figure in their life have… struggles of a certain kind. Women of course have their own; I should know.”

She lifted her shoulders slightly, surprisingly less accusatory toward him over this than he was about Kassandra. “Children are products of how they were raised - or not raised - are they not?”

As she spoke, the waves of genuine regret and shame ebbed and flowed in his mind, but his face remained stoical. He listened with what looked like patience, and nodded at her question, but something about this seemed wrong.

“I accept that my absence had an effect, but this isn’t one of them. He was a perfect gentleman when he was being watched. Strong, stubborn, arrogant, but not like that.” He said with a frown. “Andrei was 18 years old when I was forced to flee the Empire. You know that, right? He was a man, and I was only as absent as any military father. In fact, I was stationed in Terra when I was an admiral.”

He shook his head, turning away from her slightly.

“And I never saw this.”

“Can you say when you were a child and a young man, you didn’t behave better when you knew eyes were on you? Especially your father’s?” She pointed out, surprisingly soft in her delivery. “Military fathers are absent fathers even if they are physically present. If I recall your tenure as admiral, you were quite busy with your duties. Of course, that is understandable, you chose a life of service and there is honor in that.”

She took a slight step forward. “But can you really say you were a good, present father? That you were truly the example and guiding hand that an arrogant, headstrong boy like Andrei needed?”

“No, I can’t.” Ivan said, standing tall again. “But he is a man of 26, and it is only my love for him that prevents you from being my Executive Officer right now. I take responsibility for my absence, but I won’t accept responsibility for what I saw from him the other day. I find myself..in a difficult position.”

“Understandably so.” She nodded slightly. “But if I may as your Second Officer… he is someone who hasn’t heard the word ‘no’ much in his life, I think. See how this lesson suits him and how he reacts afterwards, though give that time. I’m sure you weren’t overly thrilled with the person who put you in the agonizer after.”

She smiled slightly and continued. “Perhaps all he needs is guidance… from Captain and Father alike. You haven’t been such a constant presence until very recently and even if he was eighteen, he was still a young man. Reaching the age of majority doesn’t automatically mean a person has their life together, you know that, and I’m sure he missed your presence when you were gone… it was a long time.”

Ivan pressed his lips together. It wasn’t clear if he was buying it or not, but he didn’t seem at all interested in hearing a moment more.

“Thank you for your honesty.” He said, shuffling his weight from one trunk leg to the other. “I’ll think about what you’ve said.”

“You’re welcome.” She said simply, her own feelings on the conversation were unreadable. “I’ll see that he’s on his feet again soon.”

“Good.” Ivan said, again without expression, and turned to leave, stepping around the corner and toward his own quarters.

Once Ivan moved off, Lyra turned and moved back into Andrei’s quarters and to his room. Her dark eyes moved to the bed, more than half expecting him to have drifted off to sleep while she had been outside.

“Who was it?” He asked as she entered the room again. Andrei was awake, but still lying down on his back. He didn’t move as he addressed her.

“Your father checking up on you.” She moved back to the bed and resumed her previous position next to him, though this time a bit closer.

“He’s definitely going to try and save you.”

“Gods. Why doesn’t he just kill me and get it over with?” He asked, his hand moving to her now that his skin was less electric and he started to feel human again.

“You’re his son and heir, he needs you. If he had another option, he just might.” Lyra said without a hint of joking in her voice. She placed her hand gently over his as they lay there together. “But then I’d have to kill him, your mother probably wouldn’t like that and then it would be a whole thing. Very sad.”

“No, that won’t do.” He said simply in response to that. “And if my father embraced his bastard, somehow I doubt he’d be killing his natural born son. He has shown a worrying sense of honor in his past. It cost him his career once, and almost his life. He likes to do what’s right, whatever that means.”

“Honor and doing what’s right when it suits him, of course, considering Kassandra’s existence.” Lyra pointed out and put her head down on the pillow while she watched him, pensive, and then asked, “Did it ever bother you that he loved his work more than any of you?”

“Every honorable person is full of shit.” He said, cynically, but without harshness. “My father probably has a hundred more.”

He squirmed, suddenly feeling very tired, but less in pain now than even, especially when he stayed still.

“It doesn’t seem like you like the old man very much.” Andrei observed, looking at her. He wondered on that then, and considered if he could meet her standards in the end. It was a dangerous thing to marry a prideful woman; every mistake would be an insult.

He frowned. Was he feeling defensive of Ivan Petrov? Was that a hint of paternal loyalty in his heart?

“My father is a military man, as am I.” He said, looking at her, “I’m sure he would have picked family assignments if he wasn’t the Lord of Russia, with lands that needed ruling and children that needed to be trained on Terra. Being present with him would also mean being absent from court.”

Perhaps he was making excuses; he wasn’t sure. He had spent so many years angry with his father. Now that he was really a man, he found the wind leaving his sails. He understood, at last, why his father had failed him. He could see those same impulses in himself, except perhaps worse. He felt uneasy, and a rare shadow of doubt came over him.

There was just a slight lift to Lyra’s eyebrows as she listened to him speak; she had noticed his defensiveness even before his answer in the tone he had given his “observation” about not liking his father. She also hadn’t missed the slight wondering pause afterward - she knew when he was mulling something over and considering the topic, she didn’t like that at all.

“I’m sure.” She replied, her face void of any expression which made it impossible to tell if she actually agreed or was simply giving a placating agreement. She sat up then, her attention turning from him to the doorway to the living area.

“Are you hungry or do you want to sleep?”

“I’ll sleep.” He said definitely. If he was searching her for signs of how she felt about his words, it certainly wasn’t obvious. He was likely more involved with his own thoughts. He did squeeze her hand though. “You’re here for me. Thank you.”

Lyra looked back to Andrei then and gave him that gentle smile he found was only for him. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand and then very carefully shifted to give him a gentle kiss on his lips while being careful not to touch anything else. “Of course I am, darling. I’ll let you rest, but I’ll be here.”

Andrei looked at her for a few seconds, his gaze peaceful and without pain. Then he closed his eyes, and within a few silent moments, fell instantly to sleep.

Lyra remained and watched him for a few minutes, studying his face and how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping. She’d done it before of course and found it endearing how he looked near boyishly innocent. Did he ever do the same with her? She’d never know, but she supposed not. He wasn’t the type. Eventually she carefully moved out of the bed, barely jostling Andrei at all, and moved out to the living area to continue her reading while he rested.

END