Stadium Shenanigans

Posted on Mon Feb 12th, 2024 @ 8:37am by Lieutenant Marikit "Kit" Urso & Lieutenant Asher Stagg
Edited on on Mon Feb 12th, 2024 @ 8:40am

Mission: S1 Episode 7: Prime Factors
Location: L'hur, Sikaris
Timeline: Date 2371-09-11 at 1300
3038 words - 6.1 OF Standard Post Measure

ON

“So I don’t know if this is going to be any fucking good, Bambi, but the booze is cheap and its some sort of sport. Whatever that means to these people.”

Kit and Asher walked side by side through a wide open breezeway that was leading them to an escalator that would take them up to the level their seats were in the small stadium for something the Sikarians called Chronorelay. From what Kit could piece together it was some weird amalgamation of chess and soccer but it was the most popular “sportsball” activity the pleasure planet offered. She was dressed in her typical tight jeans and band logo shirt but this time she had thrown on a worn black leather jacket over it. She wasn’t really going for impressing anyone - it was just Asher, and he really didn’t give a fuck. “Besides, something to do.”

“I met some fucking old guy in the bathroom that was telling me how much I’m going to love it.” Asher said with a shrug. “I’m inclined to believe old farts about shit like that.”

Asher was wearing jeans like Kit, but sported a red button-up untucked over his fit physique. He walked with a confident stride like he could take any man in the stadium. That was his way.

“Lighten up, Kitty. It’s going to be fun.”

“Listen, I really don’t care if it sucks or not if I’m being honest. I’m just glad to be off the ship and outside for a while. I’ve been dreaming about isolinear rods and those are so not the rods I want to be dreaming about.” She had to walk faster to keep pace with Asher, but as someone of her size she was quite used to it so it didn’t phase her. She stepped onto the escalator before him and turned around to face him, then looked down behind him.

“Yeah that’s a lot of old people.”

“Dreaming of rods, hmm?” He asked, watching her eyes. “If it gets too boring l, we can always ditch the nursing home crowd and fuck in the bathroom.”

His tone was like and humorous, but he didn’t shy away from the boldness of his own joke.

“That is, unless you’re looking for a dick to wine and dine you first. If so, I can call down Orion. He’ll take you to the opera for some real fun.”

“Ugh. Woofy is way too boring. You wouldn’t do that to me; you like me too much.” She reached out with her small, strong hand and shoved his shoulder playfully. Her eyes fell on the Sikarians behind Asher who were looking a bit uncomfortable and she raised her brows. “What, never heard a couple people having a good time before?”

They averted their gazes and Kit just laughed. “Weirdos.”

The escalator crested and Kit stepped off, immediately leading the way through another breezeway then taking a turn which led them out of a gate. Another turn and they were heading up some stairs to a slightly more empty section of seating. The view wasn’t half bad, but she clearly hadn’t intended them to sink a lot of money into this random outing. She slid past a few Sikarians and headed toward the middle of the row, then suddenly stopped and plopped down in one of the seats.

“Here we go.”

Asher landed next to her, leaning back immediately, spreading his legs, and resting his feet on the back of the seat in front of him. The fact his shoes grazed the back of the man in that chair didn’t seem to bother Asher in the slightest.

“Oh, fuck. We forgot the snacks!” He said, starting to look around. “Don’t think they have hotdogs and popcorn, do you?”

“Relax, Bambi, they bring snacks around. And booze. The booze is way more important come on now.” She grabbed his chin and turned his attention to a few rows away where a few Sikarians with hovering carts were making their way down the rows. She looked out to the field then, considering the four goals and the plethora of different colored glowing lines in a grid pattern.

“I mean at least it looks interesting?”

“There’s that can- do spirit that gets you into so much trouble.” He said with a grin, reaching over and giving her a light punch on her arm. It was enough to feel, but certainly wouldn’t hurt more than the smallest amount. “What color should we root for? Red, purple, yellow, or green?”

Kit released his chin in response to the punch, grinning at him teasingly, though when he asked about the teams it morphed into something semi-thoughtful. “I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I think we should play a game of our own.” He said, not even taking a moment for thought before he said it. Only after the words left his mouth, did his mind start to work. “I’ll vote for red to match my shirt. And if my team wins, I get whatever I want as a reward.”

“Jokes on you, red sucks. Yellow is going to be the winner!” Kit jabbed his chest with a finger. “I’ll take that bet, same terms.” Her head turned and she immediately stood up and waved at one of the Sikarians down front with one of the carts as he took his sweet time walking. “Yoohoo, beer boy! Up here!”

She looked at Stagg then. “You buyin, Bambi?”

“Thought we might go dutch, actually. Ya know; prove to the girls you can do it.” He said, smiling from ear to ear at his joke. As the man approached, he ordered two beers, or whatever they were, and several other appetizing snacks. He paid for them all using the Sikarian money they had exchanged when they came to the planet.

“Aw see, I knew you were a nice guy.” Kit joked and helped him handle everything he had ordered. “Absolute pinnacle of chivalry and gentlemanly… ness.”

Once they were settled, she looked out to the field and saw some activity of the teams running out. The announcer began to introduce them and she didn’t really care, so she looked back at Asher. “So… sorry I didn’t really get a chance to say goodbye right. The transfers came so fast.”

“Don’t worry about it. You were doing your job. So was I.” He said. The statement expressed little of how he might have felt about it, but it did express his conviction that people should do what is important to them. “As long as you didn’t request the change to get away from me.”

Kit laughed and shook her head. “I thought about it but no, there’s worse things than being stuck with you. How are the new people settling in over on the Gladius? Is my replacement doing alright?”

“Revana’s not as tough as you, but she’s smart and she knows how to get people on her side. She’s been patient with your band of animals down there, and she’s doing a good job.” He said, answering the first question. He rotated his foot, inadvertently kicking the man in front of him on the shoulder, and then moved on, “the rest of them are integrating into the culture slowly. We aren’t as formal as on Gladius, of course, so that’s an adjustment.”

“That’s good. She seemed nice for all the like ten words I said to her. My animals are good animals so if she’s nice they’ll be nice.” Kit shrugged then. “Yeah I do miss the more… relaxed environment we had with the smaller crew. It is an adjustment on the Vengeance. Apparently I concerned some people by telling the chief of ops that he was a dumbass who knew nothing.”

“That was just our Tuesday afternoon.” Asher said with a chuckle. “Who knew they would be such softies?”

“Well, with the Captain being a lord, the XO being that lord’s son, the deputy commander of the fleet being the wife of the captain, and the second officer being basically a princess or whatever… they’re definitely used to a different brand of day to day that involves skidding around on the sticks up their asses.” Kit sighed and lifted her hands. “I don’t know if any of them know how to have fun.”

“Funny, I thought you had fun by sticking things up your ass.” He commented and popped a wheat based friend snack into his mouth and chewed with a mocking loudness. “Don’t you appreciate the company?”

“I refuse to be shamed for my enjoyments.” Kit stuck her tongue out at him and took a drink from her bottle. “Definitely not the same kind of stick. They’d probably have more fun if it were.”

“I’m sure you’ll win them over. You know your way around an engine room. Just don’t let that fucking one-eyed asshole push you around.” He said, his tone suddenly dismissive and harsh. “Don’t let him stick things in your ass either.”

“I think he’s committed for the moment.” Kit pointed out but his sudden shift in mood didn’t go unnoticed. The start of the game however had gone completely unnoticed. “He also doesn’t seem like that big of an asshole? At least he hasn’t yet.”

“Well he is. I almost had to kick his ass today, and I’m not exaggerating. The guy won’t take no for an answer.” Asher responded, his tone relaxing a bit again.

Kit frowned slightly and turned her body so she was facing Asher more attentively. “What happened, Asher? What’s going on?”

“He beamed over and walked the halls like he owns the place. He was throwing his weight around with Annalise and me on some stupid fucking scheme to arrest O’Shea.” Asher explained with a frown. “I told him to go the fuck away and he went down to talk to O’Shea anyway without my permission. Pissed me off. I made him leave, that entitled prick.”

“O’Shea? What the hell does he want with O’Shea?” Kit frowned deeply. She’d never been the man’s biggest fan; he was the brand of asshole she didn’t get along with. “Did he do something stupid again?”

“No, he’s been on his best behavior. That’s the part that’s bullshit.” Asher said, furrowing his brow. “I think he just wants to wave his dick around and make us do what he says because he’s the son of the Captain. I don’t give a shit who his dad is, if he disrespects me and my ship again, I’m going to crack his head open.”

He moved and his foot hit the shoulder of the man in front of him again. This time, he turned around, revealing a Sikarian man with long dark hair and an unfortunate face. He had his arm around the girl next to him up until that point, but now his hand rested on the back of his own seat and he was scowling.

“Can you get your damned feet off my chair? That’s the third time you’ve kicked me. It’s very rude of you.”

Asher looked at the man darkly, clearly not tolerant of this treatment, especially from an alien.

“What the fuck are you going to do about it, huh?” He asked, still leaning back and relaxed, moving his feet further in the chair until it would have been impossible for the man to sit back down again.

“Aren’t you people supposed to be nice? How rude are you?” Kit pointed accusingly at the man. “Maybe you should just fucking move yourself if you don’t like it.”

“He was kicking me.” The man said, clearly irritated but possessing the Sikarian calm they’d heard of. “Now, I’m related to the owners in this stadium and I think they wouldn’t like hearing you were visiting our world and treating citizens of Sikaris this way.”

“I really don’t give a fuck what your relatives like hearing.” Asher said, standing up then and squaring up with the other man. He was clearly the stronger of the two, though no one would doubt his abilities in a fight. “Step away, or I’m going to kick your ass in front of your date.”

“Wow did you really just throw out ‘I know the owner’? Buddy, if you actually knew the owner you wouldn’t be sitting in these shitty seats. Stop trying to flex for your date. You’re greasy and gross.” She looked at the woman. “You could do better.”

“Come on, Niila. Let’s get out of here.” The man said, blinking rapidly and reaching for his date’s hand.

“Are you just going to let him talk to you like that?” She asked in a nasal and judgmental voice, giving him a look that matched.

“That’s a good question.” Asher asked, putting a hand on the man’s chest and giving him a light shove. It inspired absolutely no aggressive or dominant response from him. Instead, he took several steps away, actually partially abandoning his date in the process. He retreated then, and after delivering a dirty look to Kit, his date followed him as well.

“You think he’s getting any after this, Kitty Cat?” Asher asked, his chest out and a smile coming to his ruggedly handsome face.

“Getting some from his hand maybe.” Kit waved toward the retreating couple dismissively and took another drink from her bottle, chasing it with one of the snacks. “I think my team is winning, by the way. You’re in trouble, Bambi.”

“You’ve got no chance. The reds are just pacing themselves.” He said, sitting down next to her again and placing his feet on the chair once more. “I’ve noticed a few male engineers working overtime on Gladius recently. Why do you think that is?”

“Because it’s not like there’s a lot of options for men to get laid with the crew sex ratio over there and they probably think because the new girl is an Orion she will be ass up in the middle of the deck just waiting for them to stick it in her.” Kit replied with her typical crude honesty and gave a shrug. “More men than women on these ships, Bambi.”

“You know, when you speak, it’s like poetry.” He said, looking out into the middle-distance with mock profundity. “It makes me want to cry. Or…no, damn, that’s just an erection. I always get those switched around.”

“I know, I have a way with words.” Kit replied, completely unapologetic. She flipped her short hair over her shoulder and looked out on the field, watching the players standing on the lines and jogging around though they made no real contact other than tapping each other with hands now and then.

“Holy shit this is boring, where's the violence.”

“I should have beat up that man for fun, if for nothing else.” Asher mused as he watched the game. He had to admit he wasn’t having much fun either. “We could wait to see me win our bet, or we can go make our own fun somewhere else.”

“I think my team just scored again. I think.” Kit looked out onto the field, her face scrunching slightly as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing but she immediately gave up. “Eh, fuck it. Where do you want to go? I’m not fucking you in the bathroom that’s gross.”

“I was joking. I can do much better than that.” He said with a dismissive wave. He stood up and stopped at the end of the row. “I don’t know about you, but I grabbed a pretty nice room. There’s a stocked bar and room service. We could call in to see what the closest thing these people have to pizza is. And that way I can fuck you in a bed, nice and safe like you like.”

He smiled then and shrugged.


“That, or we can go climb something. I hear these Sikarians like to climb.”

“I hadn’t figured out a room yet, honestly. I wanted to explore then figured I’d find somewhere to crash later.” She followed after him, finishing her drink and then throwing it in the trash at the end of the aisle. “I’m good with some climbing before safety sex. Got somewhere in mind?”

“I saw a popular trail in a catalog. I think it’s on the next continent over. It had some walking and climbing, but I’d like to get out there and see what this planet really looks like outside this crowded city.”

He led the way down a flight of stairs, setting a course for the nearest exit at a steady pace. “We might need to change clothes first.”

“Yeah, probably couldn’t hurt. These shoes aren’t the best for that and I wouldn’t want to fuck up my favorite jacket.” She grabbed the front with both hands and pulled it out a bit. “Sounds good to me. Should we meet up somewhere then? I’ll have to go back up to the ship. By the way you should come see my quarters sometime - huge.”

“As in your quarters are huge, or are you calling me huge?” He asked, winking. “I’ll see what I can do once we’re stuck in space again.”

“It’s called the Gol’han Trail. There’s a gift shop at the entrance. I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”

“Yep, sounds good.” She pulled her commbadge out of her jacket pocket and tapped it. “Urso to Vengeance, one to beam up.”

As the blue light began to engulf her, she grinned at him. “Bye, Bambi.” With that, she was gone.

OFF