When Love Isn't Enough

Posted on Sat Dec 28th, 2024 @ 11:36pm by Princess Royal Giana Orsini & Lieutenant Colonel Sacha Lavigne

Mission: Historiae Terrae Et Imperii
Location: Royal Apartments
Timeline: Date 2371-10-16 at 1415
1860 words - 3.7 OF Standard Post Measure

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Giana demanded angrily as she followed Sacha into the main bedroom.

Things had been rocky between them for the better part of a few weeks now, their constant cycle of fighting and making up had been more focused on the fights than break ups. Giana had been focusing on work, and it seemed the shiny sensation of being publicly popular and his new job was wearing off for Sacha. He was unhappy, and he had reverted back to wanting to shirk responsibilities and expecting her to do the same. The problem was she couldn’t, not in this position.

“Talk to me gods dammit.”

Sacha said nothing still. They had done plenty of talking and none of it seemed to make a difference. He was starting to realize he was asking her for something she couldn’t give right now. Perhaps she just couldn’t give it anymore at all.

“I quit my job this morning.” was all he offered. He looked at her, his typical loving gaze replaced by something colder and more resigned.

“Quit your job? Why? You really wanted that job.” Giana blinked and then moved over to him, placing her hands on his to stop him from gathering his clothes. “Sacha what the hell is going on?”

Her voice and expression both reflected the distress she was feeling. They’d fought before, but this seemed different.

“Yeah, well I wanted a lot of shit, and I can’t actually have any of it.” Sacha said, slipping his hand out from under hers. He sighed, his handsome jaw set, and looked at her. “I still love you, Giana, but I need some time and space to think about things. I figured going back to my marine career would be a good way to do that.”

“Think about things? What things?” Giana frowned deeper, immediately frustrated. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Are you serious?” He asked, furrowing his brow, a sign of irritation. “We’ve been arguing nonstop for weeks when weren’t both at work. I’m fucking aimless here; I gave up everything I knew to be with you and now I barely see you and you refuse to set a date for the wedding.”

He shook his head. “If you can’t make us a priority right now, then I need to get back to what I know until you can. That’s all this is.”

“Aimless? What the hell do you mean? You got a great job that you were really excited about and you’ve been loving being the center of attention in the media. What has changed?” Giana demanded, scowling at him now. “And I keep telling you it isn’t appropriate for me to set a date for the wedding until my father has recovered.”

“I don’t want to be the center of attention, Gigi.” He said, sounding tired and a bit exasperated. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. But I’m starting to wonder if I won’t be able to have you no matter what I do. Maybe your father will be in a coma for a decade, or maybe you’ll get so buried under your work that you end up having even less time for us than now.” He shook his head. “I need to do what I’m good at and maybe just give you some time.”

“But I don’t need time, I want you.” Giana protested, her scowl softening to a frown. “What do you want me to do, just put aside all my duties so we can just goof off like we used to?”

Sacha looked at her, his body language signaling a distance that had never been there before. Gigi had been the object of his desire and love since the first time he’d laid eyes on her as a pre-teen. He was perhaps the only man in the Empire who loved her best when she had no power.

“I didn’t ask to be with the Princess Regent.” He said with a shrug. “It’s never been like this before.”

Giana’s shoulders dropped. “And I didn’t exactly expect my father to be attacked and to be Princess Regent, Sacha, but there was always a chance. Hells, there’s a chance you could be Emperor-Consort. Did you just not consider that in all of this? Or did you really think I would step down in the end and give my position to my sister so we could ride off to the sunset on your motorcycle?”

Honestly, he had hoped that. He always had. He frowned, looking tired. That wasn’t how Giana thought and, very likely, it never would be.

“You’re right, it was a silly thing to expect.” He said, actually looking defeated.

Giana looked at him then, seeming to realize for the first time that underneath all the joking and blasé attitude when it came to her position, he really had expected it. He didn’t seem to understand she wasn’t that sixteen year old girl caught up in fantasies anymore, but he certainly seemed to be stuck in the past. “I don’t really know what to say except I don’t want you to go.”

“Say you’ll step down and marry me.” He said, his eyes narrowing as if he were trying to stop any sudden displays of emotion. “The Empress and Ramsay can handle all this drama. Let them, and be my Gigi.”

“I’m not going to step down, Sacha. That goes against everything I have ever been taught and believe in. I serve the Empire. Do you? Or do you just serve yourself with such demands?” She crossed her arms and looked away from him. “I’m not going to stop you.”

Sacha’s jaw set as he looked at her. “I’ve served the Empire all my life. When your father forced me into the marines for the crime of loving you, I served the Empire. Besides you, it’s all I know.” He said, then shook his head. “But, I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought. So I’ll serve again.”

“Sacha…” Giana frowned, looking distressed again and despite what she had just said, she stepped closer to him and reached out to him. “We can work this out. Don’t go.”

“You don’t want to work it out though really, do you?” He asked, his tone knowing. “You want me to grow up. The message is loud and clear, mon couer. But I as I have always been, and don’t think I can. But I can fight and serve.”

“Of course I think you can, but I think you don’t want to and I really don’t know why.” She spread her arms slightly, her palms toward him. “What’s so bad about it?”

“Everything, dammit. I want a simple life with you, and I’m certain I want it far away from the regency. It’s not juvenile to want a normal life, Giana.” He said, crossing his strong arms. “I don’t want to work 90 hour weeks to make money when we have tons of money. And you’ve made it very clear you aren’t willing to even consider giving it up. So..what else is there to talk about?”

“It is juvenile when you go after a princess, gods dammit!” Giana finally snapped. “I have always been a princess, Sacha. That has always come with a future of responsibility and power. You went to work because you wanted a purpose, so don’t fucking blame me for that. Don’t blame me that you can’t figure out your life without resenting me for who and what I am. Of course I’m not willing to give it up, that’s why before we even got engaged I practically begged you to really consider if you would be happy. You said you only needed me, well apparently that was a lie, wasn’t it? Our life was never going to be simple or normal or peasant and you KNEW that, so why the fuck did you agree? Did you think you’d be able to change my mind?”

At first, Sacha seemed angry as he listened to her snap, but as he continued to listen, his grimace melted into a frown. By the time she was done, he just looked very sad.

“Like you said. Immature Sacha, thinking Love could conquer all…this.” He said, gesturing to the luxurious room around them. His hand caught the strap of the bag on the table in front of him and he pulled it over his shoulder. “I deploy tomorrow morning. They’re making me a Colonel…I’ll always love you and..I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you needed.”

He started toward the exit with some speed, like a man pulling off a bandaid before it could hurt any more than it already did.

Giana moved after him quickly, coming up behind him and throwing her arms around his shoulders. She pressed her body to his, and her forehead pressed hard to the back of his neck. “Please don’t go, Sacha… I want to be with you.. I want to make a family with you and have your children. We can work this out…”

Sacha felt her arms around him and detected the potent desperation in her shaking warm embrace. He closed his eyes to steel himself, and then kept moving, pulling her along with him as he moved. It wasn’t until he reached the door and grabbed the handle that he reached for her hand and tried her grip.

“No, we obviously can’t.”

Giana’s grip only tightened when she was pulled, and she held onto him even as his hand moved over her own. “Of course we can. I don’t know how, but if we really want to we can.”

“No, we can’t.” He said, his voice just as sad as before. His hand clasped around hers then and started to part her fingers from his flesh with difficulty. He was clearly still trying to be gentle. He still loved her. “Maybe after some time to think, we’ll both know what we really want.” He said. “Let me go, Gigi.”

She held him for a long moment, but as he began to pry her hands away - even being gentle - she finally surrendered. She released him and stepped back, looking at him with an absolutely crushed expression. “Don’t leave me…”

“I’ll see you soon..we can talk over subspace if you want.” He said, looking at her as he was halfway out the door, though something in his face wasn’t convincing, like he had already given up.

“Okay…” She replied softly, defeated and looking away. “Goodbye, Sacha. I love you.”

He looked at her once again, silent, and then turned away, moving quickly down the hall and away from her.

END